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AFAIK all of the strange NetBeans menu functionality could probably be replaced by proper use of the new JDK 1.4 classes Popup and PopupFactory. The result should be more maintainable and less prone to strange platform-specific problems. Cc'ing Petr Nejedly, AFAIK the last brave soul to touch this code.
I'll try to look at it but we still need to somehow maintain the pre-show hack (because of JInlineMenu)
Possibly related: issue #35827
Think this can be closed now - AFAIK all the weird menu hacks are gone.